Dorothy Parker Quotes

Q: What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can’t hear an enzyme.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.

Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.