Kurt Vonnegut Quotes

Music is, to me, proof of the existence of God. It is so extraordinarily full of magic, and in tough times of my life I can listen to music and it makes such a difference.

I consider anybody a twerp who hasn’t read ‘Democracy in America’ by Alexis de Tocqueville. There can never be a better book than that one on the strengths and vulnerabilities inherent in our form of government.

I am honorary President of the American Humanist Society, having succeeded the late, great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov in that utterly functionless capacity. We Humanists behave as well as we can, without any rewards or punishments in an Afterlife.

Unannounced changes in life’s itinerary are like dancing lessons from God.

We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.

I now make my living by being impolite. I am clumsy at it.

I hope to build a reputation as a science-fiction writer. That’s the pitch. We’ll see.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don’t let anybody tell you any different.

When I’m being funny, I try not to offend. I don’t think much of what I’ve done has been in really ghastly taste. I don’t think I have embarrassed many people or distressed them.

Oh, sure, we have another world war coming, and another great depression, but where are the leaders this time?

Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.

During most of my freelancing, I made what I would have made in charge of the cafeteria at a pretty good junior-high school.

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.

I don’t know what’s going on, and I’m probably not smart enough to understand if somebody was to explain it to me. All I know is we’re being tested somehow, by somebody or some thing a whole lot smarter than us, and all I can do is be friendly and keep calm and try and have a nice time till it’s over.